Charles's subdued demeanor made Erik feel even worse, but he was saved from having to wrestle with it by Charles undressing, which demanded Erik's immediate occupation with something, anything else. He busied himself with unpacking and repacking his suitcase under the guise of laying out his clothing for the next day. When Charles spoke, Erik didn't look up, just nodded acknowledgment and didn't, didn't let himself turn and bring the peripheral pale blur of Charles's body into focus.
These moments were warning signs, like pebbles down a mountainside heralding the avalanche ahead. Someday, Erik knew, he wouldn't be able to keep this to himself anymore, and he was certain the end of his and Charles's partnership would follow close on its heels. It felt dangerous, this yearning, and when it seized him like this it was nearly unbearable. But he hadn't reached his breaking point yet, and he would keep fending it off for as long as he could.
Erik put on his pajamas and got into bed, and lay there staring at the same page of a book for endless minutes, his mind a careful blank as he made a study of not listening to the sounds of Charles in the shower. If the room had come with a radio, he'd have turned it on just to drown out the steady murmur of water on tile, to keep his mind from wandering. Eventually the pipes creaked, the water shut off, and Erik was able to concentrate on his book in earnest-- and if he was further distracted by Charles appearing wrapped in a robe with his hair curling in a damp halo around his face, he was careful not to let it show.
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Date: 2014-01-03 04:35 am (UTC)These moments were warning signs, like pebbles down a mountainside heralding the avalanche ahead. Someday, Erik knew, he wouldn't be able to keep this to himself anymore, and he was certain the end of his and Charles's partnership would follow close on its heels. It felt dangerous, this yearning, and when it seized him like this it was nearly unbearable. But he hadn't reached his breaking point yet, and he would keep fending it off for as long as he could.
Erik put on his pajamas and got into bed, and lay there staring at the same page of a book for endless minutes, his mind a careful blank as he made a study of not listening to the sounds of Charles in the shower. If the room had come with a radio, he'd have turned it on just to drown out the steady murmur of water on tile, to keep his mind from wandering. Eventually the pipes creaked, the water shut off, and Erik was able to concentrate on his book in earnest-- and if he was further distracted by Charles appearing wrapped in a robe with his hair curling in a damp halo around his face, he was careful not to let it show.